Thursday, September 02, 2004

Back on track

After the previous evenings emotional rollercoaster, I was a little leary about what last night was going to have in store for us.

My wife was a little tired, which was to be expected, so she went to bed following bath time (the boys, not hers :) ). I spent most of my evening concerned over her emotional state though this and was only slightly eased by the her attitude earlier in the evening that she will "make it through this". I was elated this morning when she arrived at home, earlier than normal, as she had completed the route in a new personal best time. She was also excited to tell me that they found someone to replace her on her route and they were starting on Monday. WhoooHooo!!!

Looks like she only has a couple more nights to go and then she is off the hook. That gives her a chance this weekend to get caught up on some sleep (I will do my best to ensure that she gets more than she deserves).

Next step is back to looking for a part-time job for her - hopefully one that has some better hours for us.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

The search is on.....

After a wonderful evening spent with my wife as she had an emotional breakdown, I am now feeling the burden of a little more guilt than I was carrying yesterday. She broke down last night and explained that she didn't think she could handle the new job she had started. Not a big deal, as it was not the "job of a lifetime" for her nor I. The purpose for the job was to do something that brought money into the house, not to find something that you could make a career out of. Her job lasted 3 nights before she gave her notice. Too bad for her she signed a contract that said she would give 30-days notice since was actually brought on as an independant contractor. She call her boss this morning after she got home and said that she would no longer be able to do her job. He understood and said that he would start looking for a replacement. He would allow her out of her 30-day clause as soon as he found a replacement. I don't know the guy, nor do I know anything about him, but I am going to assume that he was not just blowing smoke and will actually allow her an opportunity to get out early. In the meantime, she reminds of one of those pictures that my 3 year-old has given me when he finished coloring. I am sure you have seen them, at least 24 colors and they are all mixed together in some "cloud" in the center of the paper. I feel that this is what her emotions are currently looking like. I did my best to try and help her last night. I am sure it helped, but not enough. I learned a while back, by reading the book 5 Love Languages, that my wife and I do not share the same language. We do not speak the same, nor do we receive the same. This is something that I have been working on, but I still fall under the "acceptable" category. In High School, I would be getting a C+ in my wife's Love Language.

Guess that means its time to hit the books again......

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Personalities Collide

On our drive home from Iowa on Sunday evening, my wife and I took a survey regarding personality types. We once again found that we are at extreme opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to surveys.

Needless to say, neither of us were suprised at the outcome. This surveyed confirmed, once again, that my wife is a Promoter. She is always looking to be the center of attention and seeks out recognition as often as possible. This is one of the things that I dislike most about the people I work with. They are contantly seeking approval and recognition for minute things. I cannot tell you how many worthless little "certificates" I have received since I started. I will occassionaly get a little flack my co-workers for not displaying them. That generally fades when I tell them that I know I do my job well and don't feel the need to make sure everyone else knows it. :)

My wife's personality, although I despise it at work, I adore it at home. She is the one who is always pushing our family and encouraging me to take risks that I don't feel comfortable taking. It is one of those traits that you don't like about people, but yet it is one if the things that you love most - if that makes sense.

I, on the other hand, am a Diplomat. I avoid conflict at all cost. I am the mediator that calms the storms and tries to bring peace to discussion that is getting heated. My desire to avoid conflict drives my wife batty. I will all too often just let comments and wrong-doings just roll off of me rather than confronting the person. Not that I am avoiding an argument, but more that it is not a big deal when you look at the big picture.

I wonder if God brings opposite personalities together so that the children will be exposed to a broader spectrum. Hmm........

I will see if I can find an electronic version of the quiz - if not, maybe I will get a little motivated and type it out.

Monday, August 30, 2004 I lame, or just incredibly caring?

I figure that as parents, you have a couple of options. You can both work similar hours and allow a daycare/sitter to have a major influence on you children or you can find another combination that will allow at least one of you to be home at all times and raise your children. We chose the latter of the 2. We even went to the further extreme and decided that my wife would not work at all. We chose to sacrifice finacial gain rather than sacrificing moral and heart training. Too bad it couldn't last forever.

My wife had been given the chance to work from home when we first bought our house. We actually bought it on the premise that she was going to be doing that work for quite some time. It payed well and she was told that she would only need to spend about 2-3 hours a day doing her job and that it could be done at any time. That wasn't quite the way it wound up working as her job required her to contact clients and they don't seem to like it when you call and wake them up at 11:30 pm anymore that they like it when you call them at 4:00 am. Needless to say, that plan was't going to work for very long. She left that job just over a year ago. We had mananged to sta afloat for some time, but then found ourselves sliding down the slippery slope and knew it was time for a change.

She was able to get a job delivering newspapers to area businesses on a nightly basis. It is about a 3 hour job and she can start it anytime between 1 - 4 am. She uses my truck and makes the rounds. it will provide the cash difference that we need in order to continue to stay in our house and work towrds our goals. Last night was her first night. She left the house around 12:15 to head to the starting point to pick up the papers. I knew that she was going to follow someone else the first night to learn the route and what-not. I did not sleep well knowing she was out driving around. I think I woke about every 1/2 hour from 4 o'clock on. Just waiting to hear the garage door open and know that she was home safely. Somewhere around 5:30 I must have drifted off into a deeper sleep as the next time I looked at the clock it was 7:45. Not a big deal, I didn't have to leave for work for another couple hours. I rolled over and saw that she wasn't in bed. It didn't surprise me too much as she had said that she would sleep downstairs when she got home so that the boys and I didn't wake her up from the abbreviated sleep she was going to be able to get.

I rolled out of bed, started some coffee and headed downstairs to make sure all the doors were shut to try and keep out as much morning noise as possible. I noticed that she was not in the room downstairs. I wandered back up the stairs and opened the door to the garage, but the truck was not in there. Something didn't seem right, so I grabbed the phone and called her on her cell phone, but there was no answer. It was at this moment that I let my mind take over and the spinning wheel of "Worst Case Scenarious" began to play through my head. This went on for about 30 minutes until I was greeted by a tired looking little boy who was looking for a shoulder to cuddle up with. As I sat there holding him, all I could think of was "How would I EVER be able to raise these kids without her around?" Fortunately for me, those thoughts had not escalated to outright panice before I tried calling her once again and she informed me that she was almost home.

Thank You God!!!! At least someone knew that these kids would have been in trouble without her around.

We'll see how long I let her keep this new job ;)