Thursday, November 11, 2004

Blessed?? Absolutely!!!

I guess that each of us will have a different perspective on things that happen in our lives in regards to whether we feel that we have been blessed. Some will look at the balance in their bank accounts as an indication of the level of their blessings, while others will look at the "stuff" they have accumulated as their benchmark. Last evening, while lying in bed with my wife, I realized where her perception lies.

We had finished playing a couple of intense games of 5ive Straight (which is a game that I did not care for at first, but we have now created quite a rivalry) and were preparing for bed. As we lay in bed, my wife said to me, "Even with all of the difficult things that we are dealing with in our lives, there is nobody that I would rather have by my side to work through these things."

It was at that moment that I was once again reminded of why I do what I do. She is the blessing in my life. She has shown more patience with me than I could have ever asked from one person. I am always reminded of the line from the Jack Nicholson/Helen Hunt movie As Good As It Gets - "You make me want to be a better man". That is how my wife makes me feel. She makes me want to improve myself physically. To be a better husband; a better father. I want to grow closer with God, to put my faith and trust in Him and not in others. I want to show my children everything that I missed out on in being brought up in a God-less home. She makes me want to be a better friend, both to her and to our acquaintances. She makes me want to be more honest - with myself and with God.

Do we have a perfect marriage? Not a chance. Are there things I would like to change about our relationship? Definitely. But only things going forward. I would not trade any of the experiences that we have been through for anything. I don't care that our bank account barely hovers in the positive. I don't care that we don't drive newer cars. I don't care that we have a mountain of debt that at times feels so incredibly overwhelming. I don't care that we don't have new furniture or big TV's or a swimming pool or anything of those things. I am immeasurably happy that I have a family that I adore with every ounce of my soul. I love my family! My wife, my 2 sons - nothing else makes me happier than to come home each day from work and see my indescribable love for them being reflected right back at me.

God will take care of our burdens!! My goal is to focus on my heart and the heart of my family to make sure that we all realize how wonderfully God has already blessed us. Sometimes I feel a slight tinge of guilt as I start to feel that I have been blessed more by them, than they from me.


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